Sunday, May 29, 2016

My Vagina is a Wishing Well

I realized something today. Ninety percent of the guys I have had sex with have gone on to become artists, designers or find success in bands. I think my vagina may infact be a wishing well.
Now, I certainly can't go around telling people that or everyone will want to have sex with my magic box, but I find it to be a sort of super power. 
I meet these guys who basically live on their moms couch, I fuck them and usually break up with them because THEY LIVE ON THEIR MOMS COUCH and then BAM! Successful. I'm not jealous or upset that I am not there to reap the benefits of my gifts, I am proud. Like a mama bird that has kicked her baby straight out of the nest only to see it fly. 
At first I thought, maybe I just am able to choose men who have special talents and are going to be successful no matter what.  But no. Nope. These are dudes I had to hassle to get a job. Hassle to clean their room. Without my vagina of miracles they would be nowhere. I would just like to take the time to thank my box of dreams for all it has done for others because clearly those men don't understand what I've done for them. You're welcome.

Note: I have a long term boyfriend and no longer bestowing my gifts upon others. I am retired.

Another Note: My boyfriend is a responsible grown up who didn't need any of my vagina's witchery. 
                        He was already successful when I met him.

Last Note: I have added these notes incase he reads this and thinks I am including him in this rant. I
                  am not.

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