Wednesday, August 3, 2016

I am on a Jumbo-Tron

 I have these stupid cells in my lady bits which cant decide whether they want to be healthy or sick. So they kind of go back and forth. Im suppose to be an adult and monitor them. But I kinda freaked out the last time I went to the specialist.
First of all I waited for over an hour for this guy. Hes some sort of gynecologist specialist. Apparently hes very indemand. Side note: Ive always been curious as to what makes someone decide they want their whole medical career to be based upon vaginas. Like, I have one. Its not really that interesting. Anyways, some nurse comes and takes me into a room where there is another lady. She informs me that she is a medical student and would like to watch my examination. I sorta felt weird cause ya know, its my VAGINA. Were pretty close. And I dont just let everyone look at it. But its for science or whatever so I agree. So its me, this nurse and the student. I get undressed and wear some papaer napkin bullshit and sit on the examination table/seat. My doctor comes in and has two other people with him. He wants to know if they can watch as well. Theres already three people excited to look at my vagina, whats two more? So I lie on the table and they all huddle around me. And then the doctor says "You can watch on the screen." My response "the what?"
The doctor points to a jumbo screen. The nurse grabs my hand and looks me dead in the eye with a huge grin "Isnt it fascinating?" Uh no. Not really. My vagina being shown on a jumbo screen is not fascinating. Nor is having a large audience. So for ten minutes (which felt like five hours) we all stare at my vagina and talk about it. Word of advice, you do not EVER want to see your vagina up close like that. Its traumatizing.
Anyways, so the doctor said everything looked good but I should come back in 6 months for another check up. Yeah. Right. Well now I have to cause my family doctor scared the crap out of me and now I feel like its kind of important to keep on top of that. Actually I know it is. I just really dont want to go back to the jumbo-tron theater featuring "My Vagina".