Sunday, May 8, 2016

Pizza Scissors: For Mothers Day

A few years back my mother and I came up with what we see as a million dollar idea. We invented pizza scissors. See, you can use a "pizza cutter" but they generally aren't sharp enough and you have the utensil for one purpose. We are a multi purpose generation and so we have come up with Pizza Scissors. The handles will be decorated with pizza cartoons and it's so much easier to cut with. Then I came up with the idea to branch off into spaghetti scissors. Moms always cut spaghetti for kids. Now why would someone buy Pizza Scissors and not regular scissors? Because you don't want to be cutting food items and household items with the same scissors. Obviously. So anyways, my Mom and I occasionally discuss our pizza scissor idea at family dinners. ...

The scene: me, my mom, my sister, my step dad, my two nephews and my boyfriend, Garrett.

Me: I still think pizza scissors are a million dollar idea. 
Mom: Yes! 
My sister: Oh Jesus, it's stupid. 
Me: It's genius. 
Sister: It's stupid. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
Me: You're just jealous you didn't think of it. 
Mom: We will be millionaires.
Me: That's right Mom! Don't let her tear you down. 
Sister: Jenn, who uses scissors to cut up a pizza?!
Me: I do. 
Mom: I do. 
Garrett: Pizza scissors are ridiculous. 
Me: You did NOT just say that. 
Mom: He just doesn't understand. 
Me: You're new to this fam jam, don't pick the wrong side. 
My sister: That's right Garrett! It is stupid! Thank you!
Garrett: Hahahaha
Me: This isn't a joke. This could be our future on the line here! You laugh now, but wait until pizza scissors is a thing! You'll see. 
Mom: We totally need to do this. 
Sister: You two are nuts.
Me: No, we are creative business women.

Update: Someone has invented pizza scissors. People around me were very unsupportive of this idea and now someone else is going to reap the benefits of what should have been known as my invention. I hate all of you.

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