Monday, June 6, 2016

Experiencing Nature Will Be My Demise

I am going on a motorcycle camping trip this weekend. If you read my previous post "When I Die I Leave Everything to My Cats" you will understand the terror that comes with this event. I am going on a three day ride up into "camping country" to sleep on the cold ground.

Reasons Why I Am Freaking Out Over This Trip:
1. I am going to be on a motorcycle for long lengths of time and if we crash I will probably die.
2.I do not like bugs.
3. I hate sleeping on the ground.
4. Indoor plumbing is not available. Minus some crappy outhouses.
5. I will not be with my cats.
6. Makeup seems pointless, but I like my makeup.
7. Bug bites.
8. When its freezing at night and you have to sleep in a winter coat.

I have spoken to my boyfriend in regards to my fears and he has devised a list of ways/facts to make me relieved:

Reasons Why I Shouldn't Freak Out Over This Trip:
1. I've been on the bike a bunch of times and he will always be safe with me on it.
2. We can use bug spray.
3. He will supply a blow up mattress.
4. The camp site has public bathrooms that are not outhouses.
5. The cats will be fine without me for three days.
6. Don't wear makeup.
7. Bug spray.
8. Extra blankets and those pockets heater packs you can get at camping stores. Also, warm coat, camp fire.

He also has organized his friend to drive his car with us so we can bring more people and if I am freezing/freaking out, then I can sit in the car.
I hate to admit it, but he pretty much has an answer for all of my complaints. SO I am off to experience the great outdoors. I am going to try to enjoy nature, not freak out about dying on the bike and pack extra warm items.
Wish me luck.

Also, if I don't post anymore blogs you can safely assume that:
1. I died on the bike.
2. A bear ate me.
3. I annoyed my boyfriend so badly he dropped me off at a truck stop and am now on my way home.
4. I froze to death.
5. I am heartbroken over missing my cats. This is very likely.



Spelling mistakes.
Nothing makes me angrier than seeing spelling mistakes in a professional capacity. I understand spelling errors in texts, social emails, notes, etc. However what I cannot accept is spelling errors in books. BOOKS. This happens ALL OF THE TIME. I don't understand. There is someone who is paid to check for this shit. Not to mention spellcheck is available on pretty much every computer since '91. Your job is to edit the book and yet, you have not completed your task. I am not an editor but I found it. YOU HAVE ONE JOB. Pay me. I will do it because clearly you are not doing your job. And then I wonder, would someone get fired over that? Or is it like "well, it's only one will notice..". And I also wonder if someone is just fucking the dog and thinking "no one will read this book, it sucks. I'm just going to say I checked it" Which is pretty insulting to the writer. And I guess the reader because they think you obviously have bad taste. Well I noticed. I would also like to take this oppourtunity to tell any business that makes a product with writing on it TO DOUBLE CHECK. I bought a set of dish towels. They were some french theme with coffee cups and crap on them. I just grabbed them at the store and threw out the receipt because I cannot think of a reason to return tea towels. But alas, I found one. I open these babies up and instead of it saying CAFE on it with cappucinos it says CAFF. What the fuck is CAFF? That's not french. Thats not english. That's an error. So I have these tea towels with the godamn imaginary word CAFF on them. I can't have that in my home. It's against everything I stand for, but it seems stupid to throw them away. SO I have to strategically position them so the word CAFF is not showing. Thankfully no one had noticed but whenever I do see it, I cringe internally.

Note: I apologize if I had any spelling mistakes in the above rant. However, I am not writing this in a professional capacity. Forgive my errors.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

If you cut in line, you are a terrible person.

What the hell is wrong with people? In the past two weeks I have had THREE people butt in front of me in a line up. The thing is, I don't usually even know what's happening. I think cutting in line is one of the rudest things you can do. I sort of just stand there and assess the situation like "Is this happening? Were they here before me? This cant be happening." But it is. IT FREAKING IS. Just walks right in front of me and starts paying for stuff at the counter. I don't say anything because I'm not one to cause a scene but I do scrunch my face up and give them the death eye.
Sometimes I know its an accident, a mom has screaming children and is rushing around and in that case I don't really care. Shit happens. Its an accident. But when you INTENTIONALLY walk in front of me, you're an asshole.
If someone asked to go ahead of me, I probably wouldn't mind. If I'm buying a bunch of crap and the person behind me has one item, I offer them to go ahead of me because I HAVE MANNERS. Cutting ahead is not cool. You look like a douche. I'm secretly praying that something bad happens to you for your lack of common decency. You obviously think your time is more important. God forbid you have to obey the social construct of purchasing items!
So, if you plan on cutting in line DON'T. If you do, you are a terrible person and I hope something really bad happens to you.
That is all.